Code review is a conversation, not an audit. The goal is shared understanding and better code, not proving who's smarter. The best reviewers make the author feel like they have a thoughtful collaborator, not a gatekeeper. This requires deliberate attention to tone, specificity, and intent.

The Feedback Spectrum

Label your comments: 'nit' for style preferences, 'suggestion' for improvements that aren't blocking, 'question' when you genuinely don't understand, 'blocking' for issues that must be fixed. This lets the author triage efficiently. A review full of unlabeled 'you should change this' comments forces the author to guess which ones matter.